An Ode to Google
By Natalie
The only one I can turn to when times get tough;
Or when I want to find out why that patch of skin on the back of my left thigh has become a little rough.
Sometimes I just wanna find out the simple things, like how to mentally recover from kissing my colleague at work drinks last night;
And other times I delve into the more complex, like how to change the bulb for my bedroom light.
Even to my most specific questions, you always have an answer;
Whether I ask “How do I make my Elton John sweater ‘off the shoulder’?”, or “Who the hell is Tony Danzer?”
You always know just what to say;
You’ve never made me feel annoying, or told me to ‘just go away!’.
You’ve linked me to some of the best and directed me away from all of the rest;
Provided visual stimulation for significant events, taught me how to self-examine my own breasts.
My sanity (questionable) has been maintained; our relationship OBVIOUSLY pre-ordained;
My love for you is undeniable, your existence in my life undoubtedly vital.
So, next time I want to find out the answers to life’s most nagging questions:
why Tyra Banks hasn’t been axed yet/
whether or not you pronounce the ‘B’ in debt;
why the English are so grumpy/
why tracksuit pants make me (but not my best friend) look frumpy...
I know who I will turn to, and that is you,
Google.
Nice work Natalie!
